Absent parents are those who are unable to connect effectively and emotionally with their children. The reasons are many and it is psychologically complex to determine them.
A parent can provide the necessary food support, provide the clothing that your child requires, provide safe housing, pay the bills for medical care or school, give all the toys your child asks for, and still be a parent absent. The bond of love and respect that should unite your child has not been given or broke.
Characteristics of absent parents
The absent parent is defined as the one who can not or does not want to be involved with their child. The absence of the father’s role leaves deep wounds and an emotional vacuum in the son. Although it usually refers to the father, it is increasingly common to find absent mothers.
Absent parents may submit one, or more than one, of the conditions that we will explain below. If you see yourself portrayed in any of them, it is time to reflect.
Find the help you consider relevant to restore the link with your children before the consequences are irreversible.
1. Impose your judgment
Usually a father physically present. His emotional disconnection is expressed through the imposition of his will and his point of view to his children, without listening to the reasons of his family.
It does not interest you, you do not know or you do not value what your child thinks, although you may not be able to recognize it. It demands and requires the achievement of high goals, but it does not recognize the effort nor does it know how to reinforce the positive actions. It imposes disproportionate punishments on the age of the children.
2. It is indolent
Although it is a safe economic provider, it is not linked to the interests or the characteristics of its children. It does not get involved in the rules or set limits. It does not have the disposition to generate spaces to share with the children.
He is unable to offer a compliment or offer a reprimand on time. Generally, it leaves the whole weight of the education of the children to the mother. It is not very communicative, it is limited to supplying.
3. Emotional immaturity
He is the kind of father who refuses to grow up, wants to be an eternal teenager. Children imply a burden for their lifestyle. They do not have the maturity to make decisions and specify the limits that children need.
Having children is easy because they do not commit to the responsibility of parenting. They spend more time with themselves than with their children.
They are incapable of being a positive model for it since they demand the priority satisfaction of their own needs and if they do not achieve it, they get angry.
4. Does not have time
He is the father who, for work reasons, is not at home. Maybe he does not want to be an absent father, maybe he even comes from a home that had a positive and loving father.
Delegate the role of the father because he has to meet a demanding work schedule to provide the sustenance of the home.
Although technology offers options to “share” greater closeness and interest in the growth of children, it is not enough. The child needs to share time with his father.
The love that expresses via social networks or applications like WhatsApp is not enough, you need to have a physical manifestation, with hugs and presence.
5. It is irresponsible
It is not involved either in the emotional or affective nor economic support of the children. As much as the mother presses, for the father to assume the support of the children, he does not succeed.
Behind an irresponsible parent, there may be a child who was raised by an absent parent, but that does not justify their behavior. It is the one that denies the paternity of a child or disappears after a separation or divorce.
6. There is an absorbing or revengeful mother
We should ask mothers who complain that their partners are absent parents if they have allowed their presence. Yes, indeed behind some absent parents there are absorbing mothers.
In addition to those who assume all the responsibilities of parenting and education, there are also those who deny parents any possibility of being present.
The dissolution of the couple leads some women to attack the father of the children, it is a kind of revenge not always conscious, but no less negative for the children.
Although the father wants to be present and get involved in some way with his children, the woman denies any possibility.
What consequences does the absent father generate?
Being raised by an absent parent has serious consequences for children:
- Problems to relate to others.
- Difficulty connecting with one’s own emotions.
- Inability to follow rules and respect authority.
- Inability to exercise authority roles.
- Lack of will or inability to structure and materialize one’s dreams or projects.
