Do you have doubts before getting married? These are normal, but you must manage them well. Therefore, we will give you some tips that will surely be very useful.
Perhaps you already had some doubts when your partner gave you the engagement ring. Or maybe they have come to you now that you are about to take the big step. Believe it or not, doubts before getting married are more than common.
But, are they the result of fear of committing to someone or is there something else? To find out whether you should return the ring or move on, read on.
The challenges of a marriage, all the promises that are made and must be kept, seem to be overwhelming. This generates fear and questions that are completely normal. What must be discerned is, if in fact, such a great commitment is wanted.
Do you have doubts before getting married? 4 possible causes
It is important that you know where these doubts come from before getting married. Knowing the origin of them will help you calm your anxiety and worry. Also, this will allow you to clarify what you really think.
1. You think about if he is the definitive person
Doubts before getting married may appear because you do not know if the person you are going to marry is the final one or not. But who knows what the future will hold?
As the psychologist Silvia Congost explains well in several of her books, the couple must be chosen every day. Therefore, you cannot know if that person you are with is the final one or not, but you can understand that you want to go through the experience of marriage with her.
2. You bring the problems of the past to the present
The question of whether that person is the final one and the insecurity that that makes you feel can make you bring to the present problems from the past that you have not removed until now. Focusing on negative moments, arguments or misunderstandings can be a way of giving yourself reasons not to get married.
But, if despite these difficulties and problems you continued to choose your partner, it will be for something. Dont you think Everything that is in the past can be left behind.
3. They have different dreams
Doubts before marriage may appear in your mind because your dreams do not quite fit. For example, imagine that you want to settle in the place where you are, but your partner prefers to travel, live in another place, work outside the country.
Well this can be a problem. It is that if their paths are not aligned they will not get anywhere. In the end, a relationship is going hand in hand in the same direction. When this is not the case, it is necessary to rethink.
4. You don’t know if it’s time
You may still be discovering what you want to do with your life or you are not very clear about where you want to go. This is normal, since you may feel that it is too early to marry the other person or the problems have made you think about taking it all easier.
Ideally, you should communicate to your partner what you are thinking. Because it is very likely that he understands your point of view and has no problem waiting.
How to face doubts before the wedding?
Now that you know a little better why you have these doubts before getting married, we are going to give you some tips so that you can face them in the best possible way. This will help you calm down and make the best decision.
Breathe and give yourself time
The first thing in the face of doubts before getting married is that you breathe, that you take time to spend with yourself and that you go to some natural place. Parks or nature trails are great places for you to walk and think.
Knowing what the possible cause is helps you figure out where the real problem is. This will make it easier to solve it in the best possible way.
Write why you are with your partner
It is time for you to take a paper and a pen to write down all the reasons why you choose your partner every day. It may be because you are yourself with her, because communication is the basis of the relationship, because they have dreams and goals in common, because she is a generous person and her values coincide.
Think of all the reasons to be with that person and you will see how those doubts before the wedding dissipate. Writing them down is a way of ordering the process.
Set limits on what others tell you
There are people around you who may not have had a good marriage experience and everything they say to you is negative. There are also others who can pressure you, for example, saying “to see when they have babies”.
Try to breathe at these comments and set limits so that they do not affect you. Keep in mind that those phrases that they dedicate to you are the result of other experiences that do not have to be yours. So relativize what they tell you.
Communicate with your partner
In addition to all of the above, there is an essential aspect with doubts before marriage that you should not ignore and that is to communicate with your partner. Perhaps you prefer to leave the wedding for later, in order to plan it calmly. Not bad and valid if they decide by mutual agreement.
It is normal to have doubts before getting married
Again, we insist that it is normal for doubts to assail you before getting married, but those questions can be the result of nerves or insecurities.
So with the advice that we have given you, you can clarify a little all those concerns that you have. Above all, do not stop communicating with your partner. They may both be in the same situation and don’t know it.